When fall arrives, I think we all turn inside a little more to regenerate after the long, heated summers, and we start preparing ourselves for a winter hibernation. We distinctly notice the balance between summer's longer days and autumn's shorter ones. In the Wiccan tradition, they say that autumn is a deeply powerful and mystical time of year, a time where the veil between the worlds is thin. It is a time where we can take a deeper look at the accomplishments of the year. Its like the Celtic spiral of death - and rebirth. We all feel this cycle, whether we regard it from a spiritual stand point or not. Some of us suddently gain more energy and decide to get back to the gym, while others decide it's a great time to focus on a goal and enroll in a class or training of somesort. The business world also feels this time of death and rebirth, and prosper from it by putting out great deals to grab our attention to enroll at a gym or some other institute. Community colleges send out their flyers advising of their new autumn courses. We all read those flyers when they come out, don't we? "Oh yes, I'm finally going to try Pottery! Now is the time!", or "I've always wanted to learn Pilates, its a perfect time to do it..." Sound familiar?
With the course that I registerd for last week, and my new gym membership, I can definitely attest to the changing of energies. So then why do I still feel so unsettled? Yesterday I spent the day looking at different accommodation, as I wanted to get a feel for what's out there in Barcelona. It's difficult, especially at 41 years of age, to live with people. I don't think it's possible to find a perfect situation unless you and a really close friend decide to take a lease out on a place yourselves, and I am certainly in no position to do that. So I'm trying to find the best possible living arrangement for me, and that will have to be a shared accommodation with one or two others. They have to be tidy and share in keeping the house clean, they have to be mature, they have to be non-smokers, and they have to have similar lifestyles to mine (ie: if one of my roommates is a Vampire and is up all night watching tv or hanging with friends or whatever, that just won't work for me!). You would think that these are very standard requirements, but you'd actually be surprised at what's out there. And to be honest, I feel a little stuck I don't know for certain that moving would be the best option for me, and I don't know for certain that I'm even going to stay here in this city long enough to make another move worthwhile. At the same time, I have to look at the very concrete fact that I am not enjoying my current living arrangement at all. While I honestly adore both Pam and Lucas, I can't find any peace with sharing this tiny apartment with them. It's like a constant jab in the ribs. Ouch! Quit that, can you?? All it takes is one step in one certain direction. I've made these steps in all other aspects of my life. For this step however, I am still waiting for an intuitive signal, the tweak or adjustment that fine tunes my insight into which direction to go in, and the little voice that whispers loudly in my ear "YES! THAT'S IT!!". So I am waiting. And, at the same time, I am putting my feelers out in numerous directions. It never hurts to be curious, does it?
Tonight Jessie is coming over for dinner (and I don't know where my two roommates are going to sit, because we're gonna have a monopoly on the couch!), and then we are going to DBoy again, but this time for an evening called "La Madame", which is the only heterosexual night the club puts on, and it's supposed to be great. I've changed tomorrow morning's class to tomorrow afternoon to accommodate my friend's wish that we head out on a Sunday night, as she is leaving next weekend and after that I won't have a dancing buddy any longer. I am going to cook a very heart-warming, autumn style dinner - roasted chicken and vegetables with rosemary.
Sunday is a quiet day in Barcelona. The majority of shops and supermarkets are closed, except for the ones right in the middle of town around Placa Catalunya. I think I'm going to head out for a walk, this time in the direction of Arc de Triomf and Parc de la Ciutadella. See what I can learn.
And at 23 degrees on this autumn day in Barcelona, October 25, 2009, I won't be needing my jacket. :)
Charleen xo
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