Fiesta de Otono – Celebration of Fall

What does a fairy do when it’s a long weekend in Spain and she can't think of what she'd like to do? Well, she hops on a plane bound for Ibiza, of course.

It was a beautiful, quiet, and hot October weekend, and Atzaro Agroturismo
(http://www.atzaro.com/home.html) was having their closing party. (it's a Country Hotel/Restaurant/Spa/Lounge all rolled into one!)

Alok and Dominic - the Jaa-mans

What a lively and sensual party it was! Tons of people who live on the island came out for the event, and I really enjoyed lounging around in the sunshine, people watching, drinking (strong) mojitos, and dancing with Alok to the funky tunes that the various guest DJ’s were mixing up. I loved the spirit and style of the people (truly Ibicenco), and how the colours and layout of Atzaro truly set the tone for this much anticipated annual Fiesta.

Lots of little chill-out loungy furnishings and spaces, with candles and lanterns to add to the sensual mood of the place. Notably impressive was how all ages came out to celebrate together, from newborns to senior citizens.  This is so typical of Ibiza and one of the reasons I love the place even more.  Everyone had a great time!

Made in the "Cute Factory".

Ibiza. The place I can’t seem to stay away from, get enough of, or make decisions about. It’s like being pulled by a mystical, invisible cord. It only lets me get so far and then it draws me back again. Ah, the sweet, sweet pleasure I feel when I set my feet on the ground there. And oh, the pain and agony that I feel at the same time. The only pain associated with Ibiza is my indecision to finally just laugh caution in the face and throw it into the wind, and just friggin’ go there once and for all. Can I just make a firm decision and commitment to do it? Nooooo! That would be far too easy. Instead, I have to analyze it so raw and red that all I see are flaws in my position. So I keep it at arm’s length. I’m the one that’s causing all this anguish – everything is being controlled by me. Why can’t I just make the decision?? What the heck is my problem anyways?

My friend Alok assures me that it’s simply because, as a woman, I use my intuition to make decisions, to feel my way into a situation, and also of course because of that constant, deep belief that I need to be safe and secure. (I also think it has a lot to do with my upbringing, and the familial belief that I "should" be practical about life, forget about dreams, and save for my retirement.  Touche.  Point taken).  The majority of women, or actually anyone who is connected with their female side, will take their time about these things. And one would think it should be easy to “just do it”. Well after this weekend I am one step closer, let me tell you. I am really starting to get clear on it. The main issue for me really is of course time and money. That I really don’t have much time left, that I really don’t have a lot of cash, and that I shouldn’t waste my time and money just hanging around being indecisive about this “Ibiza” thing. Well who the hell created the word “should”? And how dare they?

I’ve been told that whatever emotions I’m feeling at any given time will be three-fold on Ibiza. There is definitely a force there that makes people go to extremes – that is why so many hard-core party animals enjoy it so much. Thankfully, my body tells me exactly when I’ve done too much partying, so I don’t have those kinds of addictive traits (Chocolate, ok.  Alcohol and Drugs - no way!).  But I am still drawn to the power of that island, and it is the same energy that anyone who goes there will feel. But I’ve also been warned about how quiet the island is during the winter months. Do these warnings detract from the allure of the place? Not at all. So how do I find some peace in all of this? What is “peace”, exactly? Is it something that we’re always looking for? Is it a fantasy? Or is it inside all of us all the time, and really all we have to do is remind ourselves every day that it exists and that it’s our right to have it?

I said to Alok: “my own shadow is chasing me…” So he replied: “then turn on the light”.

So I am now creatively exploring ways to get there.  At the same time, I feel a little guilty about possibly leaving my roommate here in Barcelona. But I ask you: what good will guilt do me a few years down the road when I’m kicking myself in the ass for not having taken the opportunity when I had it?? I have already paid for my Spanish classes for October.  For now I am here in Barcelona and I am safe. 

And just while we’re on the topic of Spanish classes, I just have to tell you all that yesterday I thought I was doing so well with my comprehension of the language. But today, maybe because I have all this other crap on my mind, I just about had a meltdown right there in front of my teacher. My “new” teacher, mind you. Mid class my first instructor, Alejandra, just up and said, “well, I’m taking another class so someone else is going to teach you now….”. I didn’t even catch the chick’s name. Who is teaching me exactly? Uh, what is happening? And you know, being so sensitive, I definitely felt the shift in energy when my new “teacher” came into the room. It was a completely different electric current. So here I am trying to adjust to this sudden shift, THEN my new teacher starts telling me that some of the things that I thought I had understood from last week’s classes were incorrect! Not all of them, but enough to confuse the hell out of me! Anyone who has studied Spanish will tell you how frustrating it is to learn the past tenses (no, there isn’t just one!), because they are used in different situations and for different reasons. Among only some of the considerations are the time of day/weeks/years you are talking about, and if it was a routine action in the past, or an explanation of an action in the past, or a feeling you had about something in the past, or…. Like how a person can actually stop and ask themselves all those friggin’ questions before they even start to talk is beyond me! For example (you’re really going to like this next bit): if I want to say “this morning I went to the park”, I actually have to use a past tense called “Perfecto”, in which I’m actually saying “this morning I have gone to the park”. Let me be clear now. In Spanish, if it happened earlier today, there is absolutely no other grammatically correct way you can say it!  You have to use Perfecto. Now, in English we would just say “this morning I went to the park”, and there’s hardly any way you could screw that up, right? You’ve gone, it’s done, and it’s in the past, right? Seems pretty clear to me. Well apparently in Spanish it can be very easy to screw that up.  So get this: if I want to say “last week I went to the park”, I have to use another form of the past tense called “Indefinido”, which not only indicates that it’s in the past, but indicates that it’s an action that is absolutely COMPLETE in the past. (Like, who really cares about these types of details???)  Oh but of course the confusion doesn’t stop there. Oh no! If I then wanted to add to that by saying “last week I went to the park, and while I was there I saw my friend”, then I have to pull in yet ANOTHER past tense called “Imperfecto”.  And then there’s even another past tense form, like saying “I had done _____”, which is called “Pluscuamperfecto”.  Let's not even go there!  So go ahead, you all just TRY wrapping your head around all those tenses, conjugate your verbs properly, conjugate your irregular verb properly (and those don't stay the same, they change for every tense!!), and then throw in a future tense or even a conditional tense just for good measure, and hey don’t forget to make sure your nouns and pronouns are properly masculine or feminine, and that your adverbs have the proper spelling, and tell me HOW THE HECK YOU’RE EVEN GOING TO GET ONE FRIGGIN’ SENTENCE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH WITHOUT SLAMMING A SHOT OF TEQUILA FIRST???

Are you totally confused? I know I am. And I hope vodka will suffice, because it’s all I’ve got in the house.

And I haven't even touched on the subjunctive yet.  After today I'm not sure I want to!  The crazy thing is that I started learning these tenses last year and I still don’t have them down pat. Considering though that most of this past year was a write-off in terms of classes because…. well, you know why… I can see why I don’t have it down pat. But it is going to be one bitch of a hard lesson.

Today in Barcelona there is a new chill in the air. While it is still sunny and warm mid-day, I definitely could have worn a sweater or a light jacket while walking to my class this morning. There are fewer leaves on the trees. So Otono has arrived in Catalonia. And just as a new season brings changes, so we all must go with it and continue to transform ourselves. Nothing ever stays the same, and nothing was ever meant to. We are here to evolve.

Love, Charleen xo