Transformation

Transformation can happen to a person in just one week.  I wouldn't have said it was possible, but I am living proof that it is.

Valencia is one of the places I could truly consider calling home now.  It just feels right.  While Barcelona was amazingly electric and wild, Valencia is a city that is easier to live in.  In Barcelona there were days when I didn't really notice the sun shining because all the buildings blocked the sunlight out.  But here in Valencia, all I see is vast open blue sky.  Every single day.  And warm!  To top it off, the people are super nice, super sweet.  I never hear Catalan anymore, and I don't think I've even heard Valencian. 

I've been going to the Metropolitan Gym here in Valencia, using my membership card from the gym at Sagrada Familia in Barcelona.  The location here is smaller but more personable.  And it's where all the sexy people hang out.  You know how much I like sexy people!  I've been doing spinning classes and the sweat is so friggin' awesome!  The music the instructors play is progressive house and trance (the tempo you need it at for a good spinning class!) and it is loud!  There are disco lights even.  Everyone is sweating all over the bikes and the floor, but they don't want to stop because the music is just so dang good.  It's almost like going to a night club.  It's like dancing with the Spanish.  Just go to a spinning class at Metropolitan!

Peddling my bike through the historic centre of town is surreal.  Renaissance mixes with the New Millenium.  Baroque style edificios can be right next door, or in the same block as a completely renovated, modern tienda.  The streets are not nearly as busy as Barcelona, although there still are plenty of tourists.  I can peddle through town, aimlessly wandering, without too much fear of getting hit by a car, and everyone is accustomed to keeping an eye out for bikers.  It's nice to see the residents of Valencia in their normal working day routine.  Valencia is so homey!  I was comfortable in Barcelona but there was always something missing, something I couldn't put my finger on.  I'm not sure if it was just the place I was living in or if it was something else. 

I've been told that there are tons of really great clubs here in town, a lot of them play trance, and there are always after-hours every weekend. There's even a PACHA!  So Valencia is a cosmopolitan city in its own right - it has a vibrant nightlife, healthy citizens, lots of fertile green spaces, sun practically every day of the year, beaches to die for, a port and shipyards (read: ferries to Ibiza!), is an active industrial and commercial centre...did I miss anything?  What else is there?

I've signed up for a Meetup Group that meets every Thursday night.  They are a mix of local Spaniards and foreigners all getting together to practice their language skills and have an excuse to do something social.  I hope it's alright.  I plan on going this Thursday night.

I had a Skype Spanish class with my instructor from Vancouver.  That's Nicki Benson, for those of you who want a great Spanish teacher in Vancouver - she rocks!  And she speaks fluent Spanish, educated right here in Spain.  Yup.  That's: http://www.esperanzaeducation.ca/  I had lots of questions for her, and she actually even taught me a new tense, like I friggin' needed it, called Imperfect Subjunctive.  It'll be awhile before I can start using that one properly... I'm still wrapping my head around Subjunctive, among others. eep!

These are all very nice things.  There are some rough patches, although very few I admit.  Facing someone every day, admitting your downfalls and letting some of the ghosts out of your closet isn't an easy thing.  The language barrier makes it even more tricky, but I would have it no other way.  No, it's not easy.  There are definitely many after-effects from the breakdown of my marriage which still linger and show up in a variety of ways when I least expect them.  Like last night, for example, when my internal monitoring system hit the big, red, automatic SHUT-DOWN button when it sensed that there might be even the slightest chance of pain in the very near future...  It always comes back to my Self, to looking in the mirror and deciding whether or not I like what I see.  On one hand I could say that I am still seriously fucked-up from all of it, and who knows, maybe I always will be?  But on the other hand, I could say that I am closer to my truth and I am thoroughly enjoying the journey.  What a friggin' ride it's been!  So it really depends on how I look at it.  Having affection and admiration back in my life (the kind that goes in both directions and isn't just one-sided!), plus a copious amount of caressing is also helping me in my tranformation and healing process.  My new Self.  The person I couldn't reach before, but knew was there underneath it all along.

Charleen xo