Complaining just this Once

...okay, or maybe I might complain a few more times.  But for now it's once.  Or maybe I should say "It's only about one thing". 

Are you ready?  Here goes. Ahem:

SPANIARDS SMOKE TOO MUCH!

There.  I said it.  And just incase you're wondering what I mean, let me clarify: when I say too much, I mean WAYYY too much!  We're talking excessive.  Like, do they even go a couple of minutes without lighting up another one?  I wanna know!  'Cause I'm not talking about a person who gets a slight craving for a cigararette once in a blue moon maybe when they've been drinking alcohol.  No, I'm talking CON-STANT-LY. 

There are so many hunky guys around this city.  Why, it's a god-danged smorgasbord of men I tell you!  You'd think that one single gal would have her fill, wouldn't you?  And tonight when I went out to Luz de Gas, a club that is set in a former grand theatre in La Zona Alta and which attracts a well-dressed, older crowd who love to dance, I actually thought I was in heaven!  Men  Men and More Men!  Well let me be be very honest: I've come home alone, again, for the um-teenth millionth time, on my own accord, because why?  Because as soon as a guy lights up a cigarette I lose my MOJO!  Big time.  It is so foul.  Like what?  Don't they know how bad it is for their health, or are they blatantly ignoring the obvious?  I just don't get it.  And if they want to blantantly ignore the fact that it is unhealthy that's one thing, but how is it that they can possibly get by the fact that it stinks to high hell???  I wanna know!

Before I left for Spain, I said that I knew that everyone in this country smoked a lot and I was ready to deal with it.  For the record: I am now thoroughly disgusted.  I don't believe there is a man in this smoke-infested country who will be able to turn me on even in the slightest of ways.  I will never get even a tingle from anyone here.  No sir.  Sick!

And what makes them think that they can stick their tongue down my throat right after they've smoked one???  Or like, here's a trick for you: have someone stick their tongue down your throat and THEN light up a cigarette.... that one really makes me wonder.  But like seriously.  Ladies and Gentlemen, if you've ever wondered what it's like to kiss an ashtray, I can tell you first hand what it's like.  It's EXACTLY like kissing an ashtray.  It should be a criminal offence I say, passing second-hand garbage into the mouth of a clean, honest, upholding citizen like myself!!

(And furthermore!  Just while we're on the topic: what IS with all the tongue action in this country???  GROSS!)

So for any of you out there who, every now and then, think you can get away with smoking a cigarette and it doesn't matter, and you think that you're so bloody healthy because "normally" you don't smoke, and you say that you only smoke when you drink, or when you're on vacation, or or or...and you have all the friggin' excuses in the world... yadda yadda yadda....I'm here to tell you that it DOES matter!!  Here's how it is, and I'm not going to sugar-coat it for you:  Straight Up: it stinks, it makes your breath stink, and it makes your mouth tastes like soot.  For those of you who smoke on a regular basis, I love ya and everything, but I really have to ask: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IT FOR?  Have you lost your freakin' marbles??

I can't believe I'm actually griping like this.  wow.  

I'll take a good ol' non-smoking Canadian boy ANY DAY.

That's it for tonight.  Ta Ta!

C xo