Just Going With It

Okay already!!  I'll tell you!  Valencia was awesome!  Some reprieve from sadness has come to me in the form of a very tall, very psychic Pisces from Valencia, and I am glad to know him.  He is sweet, thoughtful, gentle, soft spoken, wise beyond his earthly years, and exactly what the Doctor ordered.  We've both agreed that we just need to go with it, whatever "it" is.  My eyes have started to sparkle a little bit.  I can see that I'm going to go back to Valencia very soon.

Valencia!

Barcelona is an exciting, traffic-jammed city, while Valencia is an open, airy, bustling city in its own right, but smaller than Barcelona, and things seem more accessible, the beach is closer, it's warmer in both mentality and temperature, and a lot greener.  Both are wonderful places.  I guess it might be like the difference between Toronto and Vancouver.  Both are great cities, it just depends on what you want in life. 

So I got back in to Barcelona around 9:00 p.m. last night, and came home for a three hour siesta before waking up and getting ready to go to the Erick Morillo concert.  I could not believe it when I saw the huge poster advertising his show, and I knew I couldn't pass it by.  You know how I love Erick Morillo!  He is awesome!  This time I got to see him from another angle - the back stage angle to be exact.  Yes, I got invited back to have a cocktail and to hang with the other groupies.  Now lets get one thing clear: I might be a groupie, but I sure don't like standing around and LOOKING like a groupie.  So I only stayed for one strooong drink and then found my way back to the packed dance floor, so I could shake it like nobody's business with everyone else.  Fantastic show, fantastic crowd!  Erick Morillo doesn't hold anything back.  And I'll let you in on a little secret: He has got a CUTE ASS!
 

I swooned "Erick, you're awesome!", and he replied "Why thank ya' darlin'!"  I know.  I have no shame.

Tons of fun! Everyone was partying together.  I like being able to float around from one person to the next.  Kindof like a butterfly...  :)

The show ended about 6:30 a.m. and I stayed right till the very end, of course.  Outside the disco there was a Churros stand!  I just about ran over and tackled it, I was so excited!  Churros are these little deep-fried, donutty type crispy sticks of bliss, all covered in sugar and cinnamon. Then you dunk them in thick hot chocolate.  I devoured the entire bag within a matter of minutes.  Seriously.  They were so good, and it's been over a year since I last had them!  There were a couple of guys hanging out at the same stand, watching me oink out.  Our conversation went something like this: (in Spanish of course)

GUY:  (eyes wide open, laughing) Wow!  You are such a pig!  You like those churros, huh?  good grief!

ME:  (mouth full of chocolate and churros)  Dude. You have no freakin' idea how much!  OMG!  Like, I've been waiting for like EVER to have these!

Then I decided that I had too much energy to catch the metro (which runs all night long on the weekends) or a cab, and the weather was so nice out still.... so I started heading west along Via Gran all the way home by foot.  Of course after devouring the churros and then walking at a rapid pace, I got the hiccups.  You can imagine what a pretty sight I made, huh?  Every few feet I'd hiccup loudly, rub my tummy, and continue walking... yeah, I'm a real class act.  But besides all that, it is totally awesome and liberating to walk through Barcelona at 6:30 in the morning in the middle of November, feeling safe, warm, and free.  And WITHOUT my guidebook!  Yeah, I felt pretty proud of myself, that's for sure.  Barcelona is such a great city, and being out alone at that time in the morning, without any traffic and without the crowds of people, was absolutely magical.  This city must be an architect's dream come true!  The buildings really are the coolest, and there are so many interesting shops and little side streets that you normally would never be able to stop and look at.  Walking through Placa Catalunya and Passeig de Gracia was really cool.  Like a completely different place without all the traffic and pedestrians.  The walk took almost an hour and a half, and was one of the best "paseos" I've taken yet!

Today the weather was so fine, and I couldn't help but take another photo of the Sagrada Familia again.  I am lucky enough to see it every day.  Each time I see something new, something more amazing.  I'm in awe really.

I took advantage of the weather by spending another day of walking and thinking, which always leads me right back to my computer to write and work things out.  I needed to see the Mediterranean, hear it, and smell the salty air.  So I  walked from my place all the way down Marina to Porto Olimpico.  

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it yet or not, but there's a really cool system in Barcelona called "Bicing", which enables residents to use city bikes by picking them up and dropping them off at over 300 stations throughout the city.  All you need is an NIE number and you can get a Bicing card. I, of course, do not have an NIE number (equivalent to a SIN number), but I still think its a cool system. You see them everywhere, and it's a great way to promote a greener city. There's always a bicing station right close to a metro stop, and they are also randomly placed in other various locations, making it easy to pick up a bike almost anywhere you go.

I sat on the seawall and ate my lunch, watched the waves crash upon the shore, and the tourists amble by.  At some point I turned my attention to a Spanish couple who were sitting not too far from me, arguing.  She was crying and speaking at full volume, while his body language told me he was fed up and couldn't care less.  It was clear to me upon first glance that he was breaking up with her, and she was struggling with this news.  They were now in a heated discussion over the why's, if's and but's of their relationship.  I try not to be so sensitive or pick up on everyone else's stuff, but it's just who I am.  Seeing them arguing there was the only key needed to unlock a door in the back of my mind.  A split second later, a memory registered deep into my cells and down through my entire body, bringing me back to only months ago when my ex was breaking up with me.  I shuddered and set my lunch down, finding it hard to swallow.  As this man was now yelling at this woman, so did my ex yell when he was trying to break free of our marriage, and he said some pretty awful things.  Things like: "I should have never married you!  I should have broken up with you after the first three months of dating you!!"  Oh yes, I remember those words very accutely.  If I could look at the situation from a neutral position, I could say that he was just saying it because he wanted out.  Of course he didn't really mean it.  But words like that cut deeper than a knife.  To say that it still stings would be a gross understatement.  It's more like someone trying to carve out your internal organs with a dull cooking knife, not caring how much of a mess they've made with the actual incision, and then leaving you there to bleed all over the place and pick up the scraped out bits all by yourself.  I choked back a sob, trying to shove the memories back down again.  But instead a fire rose up inside of me, and I got really pissed off!  I wanted to walk over and lash out at him!  How dare this man sit there and say nasty things to this woman just so he can be free!  A real man would honour both of them simply by saying "This isn't working for me..."  I watched the expression of pain across her face, which was rosy red and mascara stained from crying.  I tried to send her some supportive energy by closing my eyes and imagining myself getting up and walking over to where they were, putting my arms around her shoulders and saying softly to her "Sister, you are so much better than this.  Set him free, and you will set yourself free too".  After a few more minutes of yelling with one another, he stood up to walk away.  She clung to him, wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, started to cry harder and begged him not to go.  I turned my head away because I knew I was staring.  A few moments later they were both gone.  Great.  I wondered: Now why did I have to witness that? 

I do really wonder when I will be able to stop being affected by these things.  I do wonder when, if ever, I'll be able to really feel completely over it all.  I am afraid that it will always hurt, that no matter how much time passes by, witnessing something like this scene today will always open my wounds up again.  In a perfect world, I see relationship as being one of the most freeing things a person could experience.  To know that love is freedom and freedom is love, and that we never really are to be owned or to own anyone.  But we are not in a perfect world.  We live in a world where all the wires are crossed and people really have to fight to get back down to the centre of things, to where we were once simple and peaceful and loving of everything and everyone around us.  I remember that time clearly, and figuring out how to get back to it is something I still struggle with daily. 

Back at home, my two roommates and I have developed a fun home full of goofiness and friendship.

 Pam and Lucas

I am speaking more Spanish at home even though its really easy to slip into English because Pam is from the Netherlands, and we all know those folks speak a minimum of 5 languages perfectly!  gawd!  Lucas has a funny accent, I can never understand what he's saying to me even though he really doesn't speak too fast.  He tries to speak clearly when it comes to me, and I show him my appreciation by continuing to try to speak only Spanish with him.  His English is rough.

And one last picture of Pam's cat, Sammy.  He's a crazy cat, and here he is sleeping on the modem which is obviously giving off some heat.  He normally just sits on it.  ha!

Until next time,

Charleen xo