Firstly, I went back to Ultimate. Yep. I didn’t know how I felt about playing any longer, primarily because, well, I just didn’t know if I could face my teammates after last year’s collapse. My captain, Gwil, whose team I’ve played with for many years, had been hounding me every week with emails: “Hey Char, are we gonna see you this week? Can you make it out?” Oh believe me; I came up with every excuse in the book not to play. For one, I have totally lost (misplaced?) my cleats in my storage unit along with about half a dozen disks, and I figured that’d give me another justified excuse not to play. But for some reason I mustered up the courage on Monday night, and wouldn’t you know it? I had a blast! This is a photo of the team that was taken a few years ago now. We are all mostly still on the team, with a handful of newcomers that are super fun and enthusiastic, and have great hands.
The Discombobulators (aka: The Bobs)
Last week my roommate Dina decided to help out her friends, and offered to puppy-sit for them for one day. This little puppy was absolutely the cutest and both of us had a day of fun playing with her. It’s too bad she isn’t house-broken yet, and funny how the house smelled like dog after her owners took her home in the evening. That’s all it took: one day with a dog and the house reeked. For those of you who own a dog, I hate to tell you, but your house stinks too. There’s no way around it.
Weekdays I have been consumed with my job search, doing research, submitting cover letters and going on tons of interviews. I am so numbed by this grueling process that I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t even know if I really want the job I’m interviewing for. At this point I am ready to resign myself to take the first job that is offered to me. It is very stressful, and some nights I come home and totally feel like I’ve just been in a boxing ring battling it out with the entire city. It’s rough! I struggle to keep a positive outlook on things, and it does nothing but completely piss me off when friends try to placate me by saying something simple-minded like “Stay Positive!”, or “I know something will come through for you soon, Char!” Like, PAHLEESE!! Let’s just suffice it to say that I am not apologizing for not feeling very social these days.
Even though I haven’t been completely up to socializing, I’ve decided to make an effort on my own terms to get out there again and make new friends at my own pace. I’m enjoying going once or twice a week to speak Spanish with either one of the two Spanish Meetup Groups that I’ve joined. I like it because I’m meeting people who have never met me before, and they don’t expect me to be anyone other than who I am. They don’t ask me personal questions that set me off, or project their crap onto me by saying things like “I really think it would be best if you did……” (‘cause I think you know I have zero-tolerance for statements like that!) Instead it is a very easy-going time where I get to practice my Spanish. It’s another reason why I am totally enjoying my Ashtanga teacher Adam and his partner Theresa. I see them only 2-3 times a week, but I just feel like no matter how crummy a day I’m having, I can go in there no one expects me to be the person I used to be. They don’t mollify things by saying “Keep your chin up!” blah blah blah. They just simply “are”. And they let me “be”. No pressure, I like that.
After a hard week of pounding the pavement, I got out for a kickass bike ride with my TESL classmate and sometimes-running-partner, Trish, on Friday afternoon. It took me 26 minutes to ride from my place on 40th and Fraser to her place on 11th and Birch. Then we spent the next two hours following the tracks up Arbutus and then winding through the streets around Dunbar, and then further on into the trails in the U.B.C. Endowment Lands that Trish knows like the back of her hand. Next week we’ll ride even farther, get muddy, and I’ll take pictures! Wheeeee!
My very jovial friend Maggie got back from a whirlwind trip to meet up with her new American lover. Yes folks, they are in love and are going to make a go of it long-distance. Considering myself very experienced at long-distance love affairs, I gave her some advice. I said “Maggie, just GO FOR IT!!” Maggie and I went out for dinner on Friday night with a workmate of hers who was visiting from Toronto. We hit a new place in Yaletown, shared antipasto platters and drank cocktails. It felt good to go out for a change.
Maggie 'n Me
On Saturday I went on a picnic with a new friend who I met at the Spanish Meetup Group. Roberto is a bit of a clown with a child-like spirit similar to mine, and together we decided to go down to Wreck and toss the Frisbee around. He made me laugh all afternoon long, which I admit is something I haven’t been doing very much lately. Wreck Beach was looking good and feeling good. We stayed till the sun set, howled our thanks at the Sun Goddess, and then climbed the stairs back up the trail. On the way up I bumped into a couple “old timers” from the beach. Last year I didn’t want to talk with any of them, as I was sure they could see pain and humiliation written all over my face. This year I greeted them with a genuine smile and a warm hug.
Sunset at Wreck Beach
This morning I let myself sleep in. Then I woke up with tons of energy, bounded out of bed and cleaned the entire house. The other nice thing about this morning was being able to sit and have a café latte with Dina, something we don’t always have time for. She and I are both becoming coffee snobs, buying our coffee now only from Italian delis and critiquing differing flavours and scents.
This afternoon I met my old gang of girlfriends downtown at the Scotiabank Theatre to watch Sex and the City II. Well to be honest, we were only a portion of the old gaggle. Our lives have all changed so much that it’s come down to having to organize a "girlfriend date" 3 weeks in advance so that everyone can get a sitter for their kids (or make sure their husbands are free to cover), or that some other family event isn’t already scheduled. This girlfriend date was organized by Hilary (Thanks, Hilly!). Back in the day, I used to be the one who did all the organizing. Yep, everyone would come over to my little bachelorette pad in Kits, I’d make martinis, and we'd watch Sex and The City on t.v., and then stumble down the road to the Urban Well to dance and pick up men all night long. But these days I’m not so much into planning. I was so relieved that Hil took the initiative for all of us and made the plans to get together. It was a great show, and we laughed all the way through it. (And that “Danish Architect” still has me drooling. Whoever did the casting for this movie was an absolute genius!!)
(from right: Leigh, Pennie, Hilary, and me)
On the way home, my old friend and past flame called me up. Paul is a Taurus, which puts him right in his element in his job as the Chef at popular La Terrazza. He invited me over for an impromptu dinner, just something he threw together at the last moment. Watching Paul cook in his own kitchen, while sipping a glass of red and enjoying flowy conversation with him, has always been a pleasure. I feel like an absolute Queen whenever I get to go over to his place for dinner. I hadn’t seen him since last September, so it was good to catch up.
So last week I felt the muscles of my face pulling my lips into an upward smile on more than one occasion, and my heart has started to warm to friends again. Some old and some new, they are helping me to shape my new life. As I write this post, I have to say how very thankful I am for all of them.
Summer must almost be here.
Charleen xo
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