... not that I like to be negative, mind you.
The grey skies and cold weather have set in. The other day we had our first snowfall, which, of course like any first snowfall in Vancouver, melted by the afternoon. Melted or not, I am seriously unimpressed with Mother Nature. My parents said it went down to -20 in Cranbrook, way over in the south east corner of our province, but now it's expected to warm up again to "normal" by mid week! That seems kinda crazy to me and I think the weather is increasingly unpredictable these days. My Dad assures me that the weather man is pretty bang on, and that really only a certain amount can be predicted accurately anyways. Hmph.
Cold weather aside, it's the constant grey skies that I struggle with. As I've gotten older this struggle has intensified to the point that I'm seriously wondering how I'm going to get through this winter. And it's only November!
I had my annual psychic and tarot card reading last weekend and, as usual, she was bang on about me. Here I thought I was hiding my negative frame of mind so well! She has reminded me to try to be objective about my position in life, my position on this planet. She did see that I'm generally a very nurturing and caring person, but that I tend to get "moody" and can spend too much time mucking around in the duldrums. Shoot! How'd she get that so right?! At this time of year especially, I admit that I seem to be consciously forcing negative thoughts away more often than usual, and that it seems like it's a race to some unseen finish line and the blues are winning! Fortunately I still have a handful of very good friends who I can bounce my self-defeating perceptions off of, and who set me straight right away. Really I know that life isn't that bad at all. If I had to admit even more, well then, I guess I have to admit that I think I'm probably a little depressed.
Tired of fighting the negative ghosts, I've taken the day off work to let myself sleep longer, to contemplate my position in life, and to consider alternative ways of keeping myself from going so low. Where am I? What am I? How will I get to where I'd like to go? Someone said once that there is no "trying"; there is only "doing" or "not doing". Sheesh, that's harsh. But I also think it's true, and I have to accept that I'm creating my reality in life and I'm probably making it out to be a lot worse than it is. Does anyone else wonder what will happen to them in their old age? Who will look after them? Where will the money come from to look after myself in my later years? Never mind my later years, what about right now? How come it always seems like such a financial struggle in this city? Is it me?? These types of thoughts and many more similar to them have been making me clench my jaw tight while I sleep (now where's my mouth guard when I need it?), and jolting me awake at night, panic-stricken. How many nights is it now that I've laid awake for three hours at a time, breathing shallowly? Gawd. More of a reason to stay away from the office today and work this out, I say.
Thankfully, writing in my blog usually helps. :)
Ahhh, wouldn't life be great if I was a stable (and maybe slightly boring) Capricorn or Taurus? Wouldn't it be nice to be so insensitive to everything and not be so deep about it all? Sometimes I think it would be very nice to be someone else. I think we all think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but the real truth is that it very rarely is. If my sensitivity allows me to explore life in a deeper way then I accept that. My task in life now is to learn to manage these winter blues a little better, to watch my spoken word both about my own life and other people's lives, and to continue to choose positive thoughts. If I'm going to be a grump then that's okay too, but I am going to stay away from people if that's the way I'm feeling because no one else needs to listen to my moody blues. I know that the more I can do this, then the less I will ask others for their acceptance of me, and the more I will love and accept myself. The more I love and accept myself, the better I can be for those around me who maybe are also feeling overwhelmed with life and fighting the dark days of winter. And in this way, even though I know it sounds so simple, I think I can be of service to our planet and to human life. I think I'm speaking not only for myself but for anyone who suffers from weather inflicted depression here, and all you can do is put one little foot in front of the other. Slowly but surely.
On top of the shorter, darker days, I've recently discovered that I have a sensitivity to gluten. Yup, that's right. No more french baguettes for this girl. I think my body has been telling me to knock it off for quite a long time but only recently when I got back from Spain did my body start to really show some aggressive signs that it was fed up with my bad behavior! And let me be honest here: if it wasn't for vanity I probably would just keep on going. Alas, my face breaks out and looks like I have the measles if I don't watch what I eat, and all my clothes threaten to burst their buttons if I gain one more pound! With those very obvious facts staring me right in the face and in the mirror each morning, I bit the bullet and did the Wild Rose Herbal Detox. You know it really wasn't that difficult or uncomfortable, but I have to warn you that one needs to be organized and prepared to eat without wheat or yeast for 12 days (not to mention without dairy, sugar, booze of any kind, and certain types of fruits too). I'd be lying if I told you that it doesn't bother me to not be able to simply step out and buy a yummy sandwich for lunch, because it definitely is an adjustment. Living gluten-free definitely forces you to think ahead, plan, cook more and spend more time in your kitchen. A difficult feat for this un-domestic chica, but not impossible! So for the last few weeks I've been educating myself with researching all the gluten-free options I can find including on-line recipes, blogs, and shopping at specialty stores that provide for this change in lifestyle. There are tons of alternatives out there and lots to choose from if you're looking for breads without yeast or wheat in them. It seems that lots of people are starting to turn towards gluten-free living. As a matter of fact, I believe that probably 90% of us have sensitivities to the foods we indulge in, but we ignore these signs and/or think they are normal. What's the outcome for me in this change in diet? My face has cleared up, I am far less bloated than I was (I even lost 3 lbs!), my clothes fit again (albeit still a little tight for my liking - nothing that stepping up my exercise and aerobic activity can't cure!), and I feel like I have more energy and fewer mood swings that used to be caused by sugar. 12 days is all it takes to set you straight with the Wild Rose cleanse, but for me I've decided to continue on the same eating plan as much as I can. I've cleared out all the wheat and yeast products from my cupboards and fridge, folks! Please don't tempt me with your delicious cooking unless it's made without wheat products and sauces, thank you very much!!
Check this blog out for more information:
My body and lifestyle habits are changing, and I should be very proud of myself for facing the music. I am, just not as much as I should be. Today I am still struggling with my position in life and looking too much over the other side of the fence. Are we all dealing with the change of the forces on the planet, or is it really just me? What can I do differently to help me live my life more fully? Sheesh. I find these types of questions to be incredibly sobering and tiring, but I am going to continue to work on digging my way out of fear-based thoughts and into lighter, happier thoughts about life and my future.
As always I have to finish this post by affirming and stating my gratitude for the things that I certainly know are gifts: for the freedom and liberation that my bachelorette, Canadian lifestyle affords me. For the loving arms of friends who continue to let me lean on them every now and for whom I can reciprocate that same strength back to. For my quiet cozy home in South Granville and the ability to live in a city that gives me options for nutrition and for starting a new way of life. For running, spinning, and warm yoga classes, and for my two strong legs that remind me that I am alive and well. For the 2-month old "new" full-time job that is allowing me to grow professionally and personally. And even for the less obvious things like my Dad's laughter on the other end of the telephone, and for the happy thoughts that imagining my young niece and nephew playing in their home up on Denny Island, BC, bring to me. I'm going to keep these and many other blessings at the forefront of my mind as the days get darker and the weather gets colder. And you know what else might help? Treating myself to a night out, maybe this Friday even. :)
Hold onto your toques people, it's going to be a long winter.
Love, Charleen xo
The grey skies and cold weather have set in. The other day we had our first snowfall, which, of course like any first snowfall in Vancouver, melted by the afternoon. Melted or not, I am seriously unimpressed with Mother Nature. My parents said it went down to -20 in Cranbrook, way over in the south east corner of our province, but now it's expected to warm up again to "normal" by mid week! That seems kinda crazy to me and I think the weather is increasingly unpredictable these days. My Dad assures me that the weather man is pretty bang on, and that really only a certain amount can be predicted accurately anyways. Hmph.
Cold weather aside, it's the constant grey skies that I struggle with. As I've gotten older this struggle has intensified to the point that I'm seriously wondering how I'm going to get through this winter. And it's only November!
I had my annual psychic and tarot card reading last weekend and, as usual, she was bang on about me. Here I thought I was hiding my negative frame of mind so well! She has reminded me to try to be objective about my position in life, my position on this planet. She did see that I'm generally a very nurturing and caring person, but that I tend to get "moody" and can spend too much time mucking around in the duldrums. Shoot! How'd she get that so right?! At this time of year especially, I admit that I seem to be consciously forcing negative thoughts away more often than usual, and that it seems like it's a race to some unseen finish line and the blues are winning! Fortunately I still have a handful of very good friends who I can bounce my self-defeating perceptions off of, and who set me straight right away. Really I know that life isn't that bad at all. If I had to admit even more, well then, I guess I have to admit that I think I'm probably a little depressed.
Tired of fighting the negative ghosts, I've taken the day off work to let myself sleep longer, to contemplate my position in life, and to consider alternative ways of keeping myself from going so low. Where am I? What am I? How will I get to where I'd like to go? Someone said once that there is no "trying"; there is only "doing" or "not doing". Sheesh, that's harsh. But I also think it's true, and I have to accept that I'm creating my reality in life and I'm probably making it out to be a lot worse than it is. Does anyone else wonder what will happen to them in their old age? Who will look after them? Where will the money come from to look after myself in my later years? Never mind my later years, what about right now? How come it always seems like such a financial struggle in this city? Is it me?? These types of thoughts and many more similar to them have been making me clench my jaw tight while I sleep (now where's my mouth guard when I need it?), and jolting me awake at night, panic-stricken. How many nights is it now that I've laid awake for three hours at a time, breathing shallowly? Gawd. More of a reason to stay away from the office today and work this out, I say.
Thankfully, writing in my blog usually helps. :)
Ahhh, wouldn't life be great if I was a stable (and maybe slightly boring) Capricorn or Taurus? Wouldn't it be nice to be so insensitive to everything and not be so deep about it all? Sometimes I think it would be very nice to be someone else. I think we all think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but the real truth is that it very rarely is. If my sensitivity allows me to explore life in a deeper way then I accept that. My task in life now is to learn to manage these winter blues a little better, to watch my spoken word both about my own life and other people's lives, and to continue to choose positive thoughts. If I'm going to be a grump then that's okay too, but I am going to stay away from people if that's the way I'm feeling because no one else needs to listen to my moody blues. I know that the more I can do this, then the less I will ask others for their acceptance of me, and the more I will love and accept myself. The more I love and accept myself, the better I can be for those around me who maybe are also feeling overwhelmed with life and fighting the dark days of winter. And in this way, even though I know it sounds so simple, I think I can be of service to our planet and to human life. I think I'm speaking not only for myself but for anyone who suffers from weather inflicted depression here, and all you can do is put one little foot in front of the other. Slowly but surely.
On top of the shorter, darker days, I've recently discovered that I have a sensitivity to gluten. Yup, that's right. No more french baguettes for this girl. I think my body has been telling me to knock it off for quite a long time but only recently when I got back from Spain did my body start to really show some aggressive signs that it was fed up with my bad behavior! And let me be honest here: if it wasn't for vanity I probably would just keep on going. Alas, my face breaks out and looks like I have the measles if I don't watch what I eat, and all my clothes threaten to burst their buttons if I gain one more pound! With those very obvious facts staring me right in the face and in the mirror each morning, I bit the bullet and did the Wild Rose Herbal Detox. You know it really wasn't that difficult or uncomfortable, but I have to warn you that one needs to be organized and prepared to eat without wheat or yeast for 12 days (not to mention without dairy, sugar, booze of any kind, and certain types of fruits too). I'd be lying if I told you that it doesn't bother me to not be able to simply step out and buy a yummy sandwich for lunch, because it definitely is an adjustment. Living gluten-free definitely forces you to think ahead, plan, cook more and spend more time in your kitchen. A difficult feat for this un-domestic chica, but not impossible! So for the last few weeks I've been educating myself with researching all the gluten-free options I can find including on-line recipes, blogs, and shopping at specialty stores that provide for this change in lifestyle. There are tons of alternatives out there and lots to choose from if you're looking for breads without yeast or wheat in them. It seems that lots of people are starting to turn towards gluten-free living. As a matter of fact, I believe that probably 90% of us have sensitivities to the foods we indulge in, but we ignore these signs and/or think they are normal. What's the outcome for me in this change in diet? My face has cleared up, I am far less bloated than I was (I even lost 3 lbs!), my clothes fit again (albeit still a little tight for my liking - nothing that stepping up my exercise and aerobic activity can't cure!), and I feel like I have more energy and fewer mood swings that used to be caused by sugar. 12 days is all it takes to set you straight with the Wild Rose cleanse, but for me I've decided to continue on the same eating plan as much as I can. I've cleared out all the wheat and yeast products from my cupboards and fridge, folks! Please don't tempt me with your delicious cooking unless it's made without wheat products and sauces, thank you very much!!
Check this blog out for more information:
My body and lifestyle habits are changing, and I should be very proud of myself for facing the music. I am, just not as much as I should be. Today I am still struggling with my position in life and looking too much over the other side of the fence. Are we all dealing with the change of the forces on the planet, or is it really just me? What can I do differently to help me live my life more fully? Sheesh. I find these types of questions to be incredibly sobering and tiring, but I am going to continue to work on digging my way out of fear-based thoughts and into lighter, happier thoughts about life and my future.
As always I have to finish this post by affirming and stating my gratitude for the things that I certainly know are gifts: for the freedom and liberation that my bachelorette, Canadian lifestyle affords me. For the loving arms of friends who continue to let me lean on them every now and for whom I can reciprocate that same strength back to. For my quiet cozy home in South Granville and the ability to live in a city that gives me options for nutrition and for starting a new way of life. For running, spinning, and warm yoga classes, and for my two strong legs that remind me that I am alive and well. For the 2-month old "new" full-time job that is allowing me to grow professionally and personally. And even for the less obvious things like my Dad's laughter on the other end of the telephone, and for the happy thoughts that imagining my young niece and nephew playing in their home up on Denny Island, BC, bring to me. I'm going to keep these and many other blessings at the forefront of my mind as the days get darker and the weather gets colder. And you know what else might help? Treating myself to a night out, maybe this Friday even. :)
Hold onto your toques people, it's going to be a long winter.
Love, Charleen xo
